Comment on Water Birth by Big_Birtha.
Wow, that is completely out of order. It’s one of the many things consultants have been known to say when trying to tell people they can’t have a home birth and is EXACTLY the sort of behaviour by medical professionals which led to the development of this site.
If your husband were intending to ‘act as a midwife’ then yes, he would be breaking the law, but you would be expecting to be attended by midwives, your husband would be in a perfectly legal supporting role. This page is really helpful: http://www.homebirth.org.uk/law
I also found the support group on yahoo: https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/homebirthUK/info really useful source of information and support when I was planning my ‘home birth against medical advice’, and ultimately, the information I got there led me to transfer my care to a different team of midwives who were great. I will pose your quandary there to see what the very wise women can suggest…
Personally, my first step would be to request to be seen by a different consultant; one who doesn’t feel the need to lie and threaten rather than discuss the issues rationally…
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The Impact of Negativity on Labour and Birth
Rebecca, I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. 8 years this site has been going now, and it hurts to hear this is still happening. It’s just so unnecessary.
I don’t know your circumstances, but I found a conversation with the Supervisor of Midwives very helpful, perhaps explaining how wretched this midwife consultant has made you feel and asking not to see her again might be a good step?
If you can afford it financially, other women have really found having an experienced doula or independent midwife on board extremely helpful (and it statistically improves your chances of getting the birth you want because they can advocate on your behalf and will get to know you).
If this is your one shot, then you probably owe it to yourself to fight tooth and nail to get the birth you want – this was how I felt second time around and changed hospitals part way through the pregnancy to get access to more supportive Health Care Professionals. There are always options!
Good luck! Take deep breaths and find that lioness inside you and ROAR again! Xxx
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