While there is no denying that there are excellent caregivers in midwifery services, there are unfortunately those for whom the magic of childbirth has been subsumed by the sheer hard work and for whom midwifery seems to have become ‘just a job’.
Even the most caring of midwives have procedures and protocols to follow, and delivering truly individualised care amidst the pressures of understaffed units and the highest birthrate for decades is nigh on impossible.
Talk to any woman who has given birth, and there’s usually an element of their birth stories which runs ‘I had to do XYZ / have XYZ / go to XYZ, because of hospital policy on…’
Whether that’s being told you have to go home again for the third time, despite having been in labour for 6 days because you’re not dilated enough (seriously?), or being told you can’t be in established labour because your contractions aren’t regular enough (yet it turns out you’re 4cm dilated), or being told that you need to have your labour augmented because it’s not moving quickly enough (for who?), or you can’t use a hospital birth pool because you’re not thin enough and would be difficult to rescue in the case of a collapse (yet you’re allowed to have as many baths as you like – in tiny room far more inaccessible should the much-feared collapse occur), or your husband/partner/father of your baby can’t be by your side because visiting hours haven’t started yet (don’t get me started on the Bounty lady being there when husband/partner isn’t), most of us don’t challenge what we’re told.
It takes a strong person, while in labour, attended by the experts to say ‘hang on a minute – what are my options here? What if we don’t do XYZ and just wait and see? Or I’m not going anywhere until someone takes me seriously and listens to what I want to happen here.’ It takes a strong birth partner to do it too. I quote this:
The Mule: Stop Googling Your Birth Options, And Hop Up On The Bed, Dear.
If you are faced with a choice about procedures and interventions in childbirth – ask yourself – who is this most likely to benefit, reassure, or make comfortable – me, or my carers? We must not be deterred from learning as much as we can about our rights and our options in childbirth, no matter how much it may inconvenience midwives or doctors. We do not have to comply with their suggestions, unless we wish to. We are allowed to be powerful in childbirth. What’s more, birth is not simply a means to an end – our birth experience matters, and is of primary importance, not just to us, but to our babies, our families, and the whole human race.
The midwives themselves don’t even necessarily agree with the official policy they have to present to us. When I spoke with the Head of Midwifery about my desire for a home birth and my belief that it was a safe, sensible, viable option for me given my previous birth experience (and that frankly, I’d been pushed into a corner because home birth was the only way I’d get to labour in a pool due to their hospital’s policy on BMI) she couldn’t have agreed more. She was very supportive, but still had to sign off my birth plan with ‘against medical advice’ because that was her job, no matter how unfair, discriminatory and ridiculous she felt it was.
She said she felt that midwives hands are often tied these days into following policies they don’t believe in.
But WE don’t have to follow those policies. It is our right to research, and choose, and question, and challenge, and while some professionals don’t like it, be rest assured others are smiling inwardly because they actually agree with us… they just can’t say it.