The Marks Of Life

I’ve had this song going round in my head for days.

In case you missed it, it’s blogger Sophie McCartney’s take on Ed Sheeran’s ‘Shape Of You’ from a Mum’s perspective; gagging at the smell of baby poo and vomit, dealing with toddler tantrums, wondering where that strange smell is coming from, dealing with fussy toddlers at mealtimes, thanking God for CBeebies. It’s all there.

It was funny the first time, and the second, and the third… And now whenever ‘Shape Of You’ comes on the radio I no longer hear Ed’s original lyrics. Even if I do sing under my breath because I don’t really want the kids singing ‘Smell of Poo’ at the top of their lungs at every opportunity; scatological humour being their very favourite, of course, they’re kids…

Except one refrain keeps jarring with me; “What have you done to my body?”, sung as she wriggles and struggles trying to fit into a pair of jeans.

I can’t blame or credit my kids for my body – it looks pretty much the same as it did before they came along; saggy bits, wobbly bits, stretch marks, flat feet; it all predates them! No blame on their little heads!

Which got me wondering… do some skinny mums resent their kids for what pregnancy has done to their figures? Even if it’s just a tiny tiny bit, buried deep in the subconscious, that’s terribly sad.

Personally, I feel it would be far better to resent society and the beauty industry for suggesting that women should conform to some unrealistic ‘spring back into shape’ notion immediately after childbirth – but it’s hard to argue with the subconscious!? I know the mum in the video is playing for laughs, but as the saying goes ‘ many a true word spoken in jest’.

I’d never considered how the flipside of pressuring new mums to get back into shape, actually subtly implies that the children are to blame; the magazines don’t tend to call it ‘pregnancy weight, but ‘baby weight’, after all and language is a very subtle but powerful manipulator.

I don’t buy magazines, nor seek this sort of thing out online, so I don’t see this on a regular basis, but now I’ve been thinking about it, I’m glad this sort of content doesn’t appeal to me. Certainly, having a quick look before writing this showed just how much judgemental content there is out there for new mums in terms of body image.

When I’d just had my babies, I was blissfully ignorant of any such pressures! In hindsight, being fat and opting out of mainstream media actually seems like a really positive life choice! I just got on with being a new mum, trying to fathom my path through the sleep-deprived, bodily-fluid-covered, chocolate-digestive-fuelled world that is early parenthood; enjoying it and being exhausted by it in roughly equal parts.

At a time of the greatest upheaval and steepest learning curve in their lives, women should be able to just be with and enjoy their babies! But seriously, could this actually affect how women bond with their babies – wasting valuable time and effort trying to get back into the pre-pregnancy skinny jeans, and potentially feeling a sense of failure if they don’t achieve that lauded goal at a time when our hormones are naturally all over the place surely can’t be ideal?

I know I moan at times of the treatment of bigger mums. But actually, in this case I’m glad that my early days as a mum weren’t infected with this kind of poison. I felt no such pressure. Plenty of other pressures around keeping a tiny human alive, but none of this nonsense, and for that I am eternally glad.

For me, pregnancy and childbirth was (and should be!) a time of absolute wonder and amazement at what my not-so-little body was capable of. Well, wonder, amazement and general queasiness, but hey, that means the hormones are all working as they should, right?

Right from the first realisation that carrying a child had suddenly awakened my ‘spidey-senses’ and I was now able to detect the nauseating whiff of a tuna sandwich from half a kilometer away, to feeling the babies wriggling around inside me, to discovering that the dairy had sprung into production surprisingly early (about 20 weeks early!), through to having two awesome, pop-a-pea-out-of-a-pod births, and then feeding them well into toddlerhood, my amazing body did all of that, and I’m bloody proud of it. Wobbly bits and all.

In the Willy Russell play/film Shirley Valentine, the inveterate charmer, Costas talks about Shirley’s stretch marks:

Don’t, don’t be too stupid to try to hide these lines. They, they are lovely, because they are part of you, and you are lovely, so don’t, don’t hide, be proud. Sure. These marks show that, that you are alive, that you survive. Don’t try to hide these lines. They are the marks of life.

Shirley replies – to the audience; “Aren’t men full of shit?”, but do you know, I’m with Costas one hundred percent. Shirley reads too many magazines…

Win A Lingerie Set From Brastop.com!

So, who likes winning free stuff?

EVERYONE!!!

Brastop.com Competition!To celebrate the launch of their MID SEASON SALE, the lovely people at Brastop have offered one lucky BigBirthas reader the opportunity to win a lingerie set of their choice from ANYWHERE on their website!

The sale has discounts of up to 70% over a wide range of D-K cup lingerie and swimwear, including maternity and non-wired options: http://www.brastop.com/bra-sale-lingerie-clearance

Even if you don’t win, you still won’t leave empty handed, as all entrants will be emailed an exclusive discount code. So what are you waiting for!

What I need to do to win?

Step 1

Like the Big Birthas page on Facebook (but you’ve done that already, surely?) https://www.facebook.com/BigBirthas/

Step 2

Share the Facebook post about the competition (it wouldn’t be fair if you didn’t let your friends know about it too, now, would it?)

Step 3

Choose the lingerie set you would like from anywhere on http://www.brastop.com/ and complete the form below (easy!)

***SORRY, THIS COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED***

We promise that your details will only be used for the purposes of administering the competition. Big Birthas will never, ever, sell or pass on your email address or other details. EVER. Nor will we send you spam about things you haven’t asked for. EVER. We promise. Read Our Privacy Policy Here

Judges decision is final, no cash alternative offered. Lingerie set chosen is non-returnable/non-exchangeable.

Good Luck!

 

We Are All Worthy

I don’t know anything much about the company producing this video, so please don’t take this as any sort of recommendation, but I do appreciate the sentiments contained within it.

Lots of us have things that we’ve wanted to do, or that we’re passionate about, or that would make us happy, that we don’t do because we’ve told ourselves we couldn’t.

It’s this sort of thinking that holds us back. Not anyone else setting limits on us (and let’s be honest, there’s plenty of that) but us limiting ourselves. Sometimes we are our own biggest critics. 

Cut yourself some slack. You’re worthy too.

P. S.  I’ve been meaning to take up yoga again for a while, so thanks Dana for the reminder.

Looking For A Bargain?

I’ve always got one eye open for a cheeky bargain. And when I’m updating the links for this site I often spot great deals, so I thought I might as well share them with you!

Hop along to Big Birtha’s Bargains – I’ll post links to any reduced price plus-size maternity wear (or regular items that could be suitable as maternity wear) I find, please feel free to post any good deals you spot.

Even if you wouldn’t fit into that gorgeous bargain of a size 22 babydoll dress, some other Big Birtha out there might be looking for just that!